Recommended by: WiseSuit Staff

The subtitle for Getting to Yes is "Negotiating Without Giving In." Since all of life requires negotiating at some level, wouldn't we all like to know the secret to this? Negotiating skills are highly-favored in personal life and especially in business and probably the least understood.

The book states: "Whether a negotiation concerns a contract, a family quarrel, or a peace settlement among nations, people routinely engage in positional bargaining."

The classic example is that of a shopkeeper and a customer. While haggling over price isn't as common in the U.S. as it is in other countries, you may run into this at a flea market or garage sale. But the problem with position bargaining is that each party tends to lock into a position.

In Getting to Yes, Roger Fisher and William Ury have developed a simple and straightforward five-step system for how to behave in negotiations. This is a necessary tool for anyone desiring the best outcome with the least emotion, that could either throw the negotiations off track into personal attacks or being unprepared when these techniques are used against you.

The 5 main points are:

1. Don't bargain over positions
2. Separate people from the problem
3. Focus on interests; not positions
4. Invent options for mutual gain
5. Insist on using objective criteria

Some of the action tips from each point include:

• Stop to think
• Keep your eyes on the prize
• Identify the stakeholders
• Listen to yourself: reactions, emotion
• Put yourself in their shoes
• Listen more than you talk
• Acknowledge their point
• Use trust-building measures
• Probe behind positions
• Ask "Why?" "Why not?"
• Replace "But" with "Yes And"
• Use a Positive No
• Invent before you judge
• Ask advice; ask "What if?"
• Make a Yes-able proposal
• Prepare independent standards  (e.g. market value, precedent)
• Put reasons first, price later

Have others found this useful? One reader said this:

"I read this book in an MBA course for Dispute Mediation. Although it was not a required reading, every text and article mentioned this book. You can easily read it in a weekend. Do not expect theory, paradigm, or lofty descriptions - this is cut to the chase stuff that lets you know many techniques for negotiating and helping the other side make a decision that is right for all involved. Some helpful key concepts include eliminating emotions from the process, or dealing with the emotional techniques that the other side may use against you."

Reviews:

"This is by far the best thing I've ever read about negotiation. It is equally relevant for the individual who would like to keep his friends, property, and income and the statesman who would like to keep the peace." - John Kenneth Galbraith, author and economist

About the Authors:

Roger Fisher teaches negotiation at Harvard Law School, where he is Williston Professor of Law emeritus and director of the Harvard Negotiation Project. Raised in Illinois, he served in WWII with the U.S. Army Air Force, in Paris with the Marshall Plan, and in Washington D.C., with the Department of Justice. He consults widely with governments, corporations, and individuals through Conflict Management, Inc., and the Conflict Management Group of Cambridge, Massachusetts.

William L. Ury co-founded Harvard's Program on Negotiation where he currently directs the Global Negotiation Project.

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